Galled in Galle

So beautiful. Makes me want to go crazy in my attic room, like a Jane Austen character.

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I am lying in my fan-cooled room in an historic mansion near the Southeast wall of the Galle Fort, sticky and slightly pink like a Barbie left in the sun. It’s hot here. The kind of dizzying, sickly heat that makes you sway on your feet when you least expect it. The kind of weather that necessitates that you stay indoors between 1 and 4 in the afternoon – not that I ever complain about that. A typical Violet Dear travel day looks like this:

7/8am – wake up and read in bed
9am – breakfast, yo

10am – some kind of rewarding cultural activity
1pm – lunchies (cheap and local or streetfood)

2pm – FUCK ALL (which includes internetting and writing)
4pm – meditation…. (or nap) 

6pm – beer and sunset

7pm – dinner

9pm – writing or reading and music in bed

11pm – sleep

Right now it is my favourite part of the day. The “fuck all” part – a part that I NEVER seem to action when I am at home in Vancouver. I am a serial do-er of things, and I simply don’t relax often enough unless I am schlepping my way through a tropical country. Backpacking is actually pretty hard work, and so I cut myself a lot of slack when I want to lie on my bed under a whirling fan (or on a hammock, or on a beach etc), listen to Amy Winehouse and write.

But I’m angsty. See, I set out today to write a glowing piece about how much I love Galle Fort – how the history and living culture blend to create a place quite unlike any I have ever been, (my impression helped in part by the tours and books by Juliet Coombe) but then I got scammed. A shitty opportunistic scam that I should have known better about – that I should have seen coming a mile away.

Beautiful local rice and curry - but the fish wasn't the only catch...

Not too badly, but just enough that my ego was wounded and my identity as a “good traveler” was called into question. In my desperation to escape high priced, bland tourist food I dragged Mum and Tim to a locals-only rice’n’curry joint pointed out on one of our walking tours, excited for authentic spicy food at a fraction of the price found along Leyn Baan or Pedlar Street.

We sat down in the divey local joint, much to the curiousity of the local men, and were served huge portions of delicious food. The owner (or owner’s helper, or friend?) spoke good English, he was charming, and brought us fancy lime infused hot water with which to wash our hands (you eat with your hands and no utensils in Sri Lanka) and an entire pineapple cut into big juicy chunks. 

Mumsy eating with her hands for the first time

My mum looked at me and earnestly thanked me. “Dear, I would never walk into a dirty little hole in the wall like this if it weren’t for you. Thank you – you really broaden my horizons.” My chest puffed out and I felt so experienced and intrepid as I replied, “oh, yeah, well you just have to do this sort of thing, otherwise you’re just a tourist and not a traveler.” I never once suspected anything was awry, and that is probably why my ego took such a blow when the cost was announced.

Juliet had told us that the meal would cost about 150LKR a head (1.25 US). Factoring in the Pepsis and pineapple, I assumed that the total cost would be 700LKR. When we prepared to pay, the diminutive fellow who had been serving us announced that the bill was 3000 LKR (26 US)– four times what I had estimated and nearly the cost of a posh European meal at a nearby boutique hotel.

Now, I know exactly what happened. This gentleman knew we could afford the price, and he was sick and tired of seeing fancy establishments selling Lavazza espresso rake in all the dough. We walked in, sat down and ordered rice and curry of the day – without asking the price. We weren’t served the big sloppy, quick’n’dirty plates that the local men were given, instead we were given more of a presentation on platters and with shared bowls.

I tried – in vain – to argue politely and tell him that we had been told a much different price. He just used his strange looping English to run in circles and insist that the meal should be 3000LKR. I finally gave up and handed over the currency, the delicious taste in my mouth sullied by disappointment and the weird shame one feels when they have been cheated and they know it and the cheater knows you know it. Like a little bitch or a squealing little piggy or worse – a mark.

The happiness and pride that I had felt about being able to show my mum something unique and off the beaten track was dashed, and I felt hot anger rising in my already sticky hot cheeks. Thankfully, according to my scheduled relaxation time, the last few hours have been designated for “Fuck All” so I have had a chance to cool down.

I realized that I spent nearly half the cost of my fraudulent lunch on a fancy coffee today – so it wasn’t the actual cost that made me have such a vehement reaction, it was the feeling of being made a patsy. Somehow the crazy price we were charged took away from my blissful feeling of “traveler-dom” – the little dirty local joint doesn’t seem so authentic in my memory. #firstworldproblems

And therein lies one of the ethical problems of traveling in the developing world. As travelers we’re all scrambling to have these “authentic” experiences, but we get irked if the person giving them to us is entrepreneurial enough to want to earn enough money to one day travel the world himself – or at the very least, buy his family the necessities they need to like, live and shit. Sigh. Ethics. Bah.

LESSON 1 – No matter how experienced of a traveler you are, you need to remember that you can still get scammed, and it will be humbling and your ego will not like it.

LESSON 2 – ALWAYS ASK HOW MUCH A THING IS BEFORE YOU CONSUME THAT THING.

That’s all I got today. I promise I will write much more lovely things about Galle tomorrow.

One Love, VD

A Little Q&A (no T&A)

"I'm ready for my close up, Mr DeMille....wait, Mr De Mille? Come back! I thought you wanted to take my pic....oh nevermind. Who's got a poutine?"

A few weeks ago I posted an entry asking if people had “Any Questions?” Here are the questions I received and my answers. Cheers!

How do you afford this mammoth trip? Is S a millionaire?
-Dolly Daydream

Both S and I saved a ton of money – really dedicated ourselves to scrimping and pinchng and socking huge amounts of dosh away. S does make a great living (and was paid a handsome consulting fee while he working in India) but I'm not too shabby myself! I find it interesting that that wasn't your first conclusion – the old patriarchal instinct has kicked in! :) So far I have cashed some of my savings but I look forward to returning home with more than half still in the bank – along with a zero credit card balance (so important for a variety of reasons – I hate being taken advantage of!)

We also travel on a tight budget of no more than thirty Canadian dollars per person per day (flights not included) and this really helps to stretch the money we do have – extravagances do happen, but we try to keep them in check as much as possible!

How do you manage to travel without working? Do you work online?

-kanmuri

Other than blogging my heart out and making a few bucks from Google adsense, I have not worked one iota since September 30 of last year. If someone wants to pay me I would glady accept an assignment! S did work as a consultant in India (for visual effects on Bollywood movies – he had a hand in “Chandni Chowk to China”) for 2.5 months – this is when we lived in Mumbai (and yes, it was during the attacks.)

The picture from your title area - did you take that? It instantly conjures images of faraway places, shimmering sand and hot mystical nights!

-Rainysoul

I did take this photo – I am glad you like it! It was taken on a sand dune just outside of Jaisalmer, Rajasthan while we were waiting for the sun to set while on a camel safari. In reality it was a bit less idyllic than it seems – they were singing and dancing and begging for money – if we didn't give them any they would launch back into their repetitive song! It will haunt my brain forever..... Here are a few more!

I was wondering why you cuss a lot in your posts?

-Kristin

Well, to be honest – I swear in person and in my quest to always keep my blog as true to my actual personality I just write what comes to mind, in the way that it comes to mind. Sometimes it is really important to the feel of the piece – for instance when I am really upset or angry about something – ie: Burmese politics or suicide – I feel that they are more than warranted.

I did a search of my own blog and could only find the eff word 4 times in fifty posts – pretty good, I'd say! I do use euphemisms (such as eff or f%#@) quite often as well, but those hardly count....do they? :)

Lastly, I just really like to swear.

Where have you been that has been your most worthwhile, absolute best trip, and why?

-Chymere

That is so, so hard to say. Part of me actually wants to say that it was the 6 week trip I took by myself to Eastern Europe when I was 22 – I went to Poland, Czech Republic, Germany, Austria and Hungary. That journey really had a profound effect on me – it wasn't my first trip to Europe, but it was my first time traveling alone and with a really good plan. I learned so much about Europe, myself and well...myself! I highly recommend that everyone takes a trip on their own at least once.

As for this trip to Asia (does an entire year count as one trip?) I would say that India, though I often hated it when I was there, was the most important place we visited. It is hard, it is full on and it is stinky – and it is wonderful.

An old alter ego - thanks to Pappa Jay for the artiness.

How did your pen name Violet Dear come about?

-Marilee in Portland Oregon

I have been using pen names and psuedonyms since I began writing as a young teenager. Originally I wanted to at least partially control my identity amongst the people that I know - bosses, colleagues, unwanted aquaintances, crazies - but that went out the window when I was chosen as Blog of Note!

As I wanted to remain at least partially anonymous on this site I chose to write under the name Violet Dear. Some of my previous pen-names have been: Violent Violet, Violet Femme, and Ultra Violet – I like Violet Dear because it is feasibly a real name and is less crazy and wild than the names I chose when I was younger. To be very honest Violet, dear (their comma) was also the name of a limited edition MAC eyeshadow that I purchased when I was about nineteen – it always stuck with me. (I am also getting a tattoo of the word "Violet" when I am in Melbourne - it means a lot to me!)

I love your practical tips. I am traveling to India, Thailand, Laos and Japan - can you recommend a visa company or would you just do it yourself?
-Stephanie C

Thanks! I always try to add a little practical info because it can be sorely lacking online... For the visas, if you live in a city with an Indian consulate than it is very easy – just pop down in person and you should be able to come back in a few business days to pick yours up. I really recommend paying a bit extra and grabbing the multiple entry one year visa – plans can change and this is a great way to avoid headaches later (for instance, the Bangkok Indian consulate is supposed to be a nightmare.) Your Indian visa is activated from the day it is issued, so make sure you have enough time – you might want to get it issued close to the date you depart.

Thailand, Laos and Japan – visas are issued on arrival at most borders. For Thailand, if you arrive by air you will be issued a 30 day visa, but by land it is only 14 days – don't get caught out. Hopping across the border to Cambodia (I recommend Angkor Wat wholeheartedly) Laos or Myanmar for a visa run is common and easy – and with Air Asia's cheapest deals even flying to S'pore, Malaysia or elsewhere is also feasible. Laos is a 30 day visa – I belive you can get more (and a prettier visa) by applying in advance – but for most people this is enough. Japan – I have little clue, as I have never been! Your trip sounds great – let me know if you have any other questions along the way!

How much money would you recommend for 5 weeks in India?
- Master Kevin

It is really up to you! You can spend from 10 USD/day all the way up to hundreds. For us, on a slightly higher than average backpacker lifestyle (ie: no dirty rooms, second class trains and nice restaurants sometimes) we found that 25USD/day was more than enough. Some days we went over, and some days under – it balanced out. If you are traveling by yourself than you will probably have to add another 10 bucks to your budget.

I was wondering what do you do when you aren't travelling?[:)]

-Nikki

Before I started traveling on this trip I worked as a consultant for a major travel company in Canada - my bonuses really helped us save money for this trip! When I get home I will be heading back to University - and traveling as often as a can to keep you guys entertained!

That's all guys - if you have any other questions for me feel free to ask - I can always do this again sometime. Cheers!

xoxo

Violet Dear

Top 10 Burma Travel Tips

Teenage monks atop Mt. Popa

1) You MUST fly in and out of Burma – no overland travel is permitted at all. The best deals are out of Bangkok with AirAsia.com – S and I were able to fly roundtrip for about 70 bucks CAD per person.

2) There are NO ATMs or real banks in Burma, and nowhere to cash traveler's cheques or do cash advances. ALL money must be brought with you in completely crisp, unmarked, unwrinkled PERFECT US dollars. Hundreds will get your best exchange rate. Change money at your guesthouse – the banks will give you an exchange rate literally three times lower (corruption yadda yadda.) There are a few US dollar ATM's at Bangkok Airport – one is past security once you check in, located at one of the pink exchange kiosks. This is non-negotiable. DO not head to Burma without USD.

3) Getting a visa is compulsory for all nationalities, and it must be obtained in advance. Most people elect to get theirs in Bangkok, and it is quite straight forward. The best directions I have ever found to anywhere – hands down – come via this link explaining how to get to the Myanmar Consulate in Bangkok. How thorough! How efficient! How positively A-type! Luh dis.

You will need:

• *2 passport photos
• *1 photocopy of your passport
• *3 forms (all available day-of at the consulate) filled out, one of which is a detailed work history. DO NOT indicate any jobs involved in journalism/photography etc
• *800 Baht
• *A rough itinerary (they will grill you about where you want to go and why)

It will take 2 full business days – we dropped ours on a Wednesday and could only go to pick it up on a Friday. They will only do a rush if they deem in necessary.

4) The new, published in May 2009 Burma Lonely Planet is actually extremely useful. The rates and prices are dead-on and the recommendations kick ass. Seriously – for this one it is worth investing in the country-specific guide. (see note below)

5) Motherland Inn will meet and greet every single flight into Yangon – and what a treat this guesthouse is to stay at! Just go with them – the rooms are clean and the staff the absolute friendliest. The transfer is free (it would cost about 10 USD otherwise) to their close-to-centrally located Inn. Breakfast in included (put in an advance request the night before for Myanma foods, otherwise it is eggs and toast) and there is a big Western grocery store nearby (ask the staff) that sells Brie cheese for under 4 USD, as well as baguettes - perfect for the obscenely long busride to Bagan, Inle or Mandalay.

6) Bagan is amazing, yes – but it is murder hot. It is worth splashing out a bit more for a pool – we spent 18 bucks a night (our most expensive room by far) to stay at “Golden Express” (all of the horsecart guys know it.) Nice pool, buffet brekkie including omelette/crepe bar and air conditioning. Great value. Hire the same cart guy who drops you here for the following few days (you need one to tour the temples) the price is normally 10 USD for the whole day. Tip these guys well – they are struggling to eke out a living!

7) It is extremely important to remember that you are in a military junta-controlled country and though the people seem happy and smiley they are being oppressed, robbed and denied basic freedoms. Visiting Burma is important – but only if your motivation is to stay at locally run guesthouses, eat at local restaurants and avoid, whenever possible, government run businesses. This is quite difficult at times, because they really have their sticky fingers dipped into a lot of the economy (ie: your visa fees etc.) The Lonely Planet has quite a good list of dos and don'ts to ensure that your money is benefiting the average person and not a pork-fattened official. Read up and stay ahead of 'em!

8) Many people only have about two weeks in Burma – here is a great sample itinerary (It's what we did!)

• 1 night in Rangoon (Yangon)
• overnight bus to Mandalay
• 3 nights in Mandalay
• 3 nights in Bagan
• 1 night Kalaw
• 1 night at monastery between Kalaw and Inle (on trek)
• 3 nights Inle Lake
• overnight bus to Rangoon (Yangon)
• 1 night in Rangoon

This worked really well for us! If you have a month a lot more become possible – just remember that distances of just a few hundred kilometres can take 10+ hours due to the terrible condition of the roads. Plan on night buses and a lot of patience.

9)Do not miss the Moustache Brothers in Mandalay, Schwedagon Pagoda in Yangon (although its 5 USD entrance fee does go to the government,) Inle Lake's Jumping Cat Monastery, a trek, the ancient villages of Mingun, Sagiang and Amarapura (near Mandalay) and Bagan's temples.

10) Internet can be sporadic (and is controlled by the government – at some computers there are problems logging on to gmail and facebook) and international phone calls are obscenely expensive, if the phones are working. Let your family know that you may be out of touch and unreachable – they can contact your embassy in Yangon if there is an emergency at home (your guesthouse registers you with local authorities each night.)

Burma is an unbelievable place to visit – well worth an addition on to any Southeast Asia travel itinerary. Enjoy!

(Click here to read all of my entries on Burma.)

****NOTE - this was written in 2009, and still holds true for the most part. However, as the junta loosens their control on the people of Burma, more and more tourists are visiting - which means that the 2011 Lonely Planet is outdated when it comes to accommodation pricing.  Expect to pay 50% more than the guides state, simply because the demand is higher than the supply - check the Thorntree forums for up to date advice. And you know what - that's still cheap! So go. Before all of the crowds. You won't regret it!

Lovely young ladies and their thanika

Inspiring Travels - An Interview with Brook Silva Braga

About two months before embarking on this trip I was in the travel clinic, ativan-ed up (fear of needles, says the girl with all the tattoos...) and reading a travel magazine to pass the antsy minutes. I found an article that really caught my interest and learned about Brook Silva Braga, documentary film maker (A Map for Saturday and One Day in Africa) and an inspiration to all of us travelers who want to learn how to make a living from traversing the globe (and who don't fancy writing Lonely Planet guides.)  S and I sent away for his first documentary that week and when it arrived we tore into the package and watched the DVD right away. With tears running down our faces (well, mine) we knew that this year away was going to be amazing. A Map For Saturday is a must-see for anyone planning to (or even just dreaming about) travel for an extended period of time.

Brook took time out from promoting his newest film, One Day in Africa and was kind enough to answer the following questions for me.

1)Was there a moment or incident that served as a catalyst to travel seriously?

Hey, Violet, thanks for the questions. After college I worked for HBO and they sent me to the Philippines for a story.  I decided to spend a few days in Thailand on the way home but then I met this community of backpackers that I hadn't really been aware and a few days turned into two weeks. I joined up with Bill and Paul who had left Belfast for a yearlong trip and when I finally went home I kept thinking how they were still traveling. A few months later I booked my ticket.

2) If you could give a novice backpacker one piece of advice, what would it be?
Don't sweat the small stuff. There's an endless list of things that are useful--padlocks and mini-lights, guidebooks and hostel searches--but really your passport and bank card are the only essentials. And I've never met anyone who regretted going on a trip. 

3) What are 3 backpacking essentials you always carry with you?
Well I've just contradicted the idea of essentials but some things I've found surprisingly useful include: pajama pants, a wiremesh bag from PacSafe for storing valuables, and a mini-flashlight (which I never bring but always wish I had). 

4) Tell me a little bit about your new project, One Day in Africa.
'One Day in Africa' is my second documentary though it's not exactly a follow-up to 'A Map for Saturday' because its about locals rather than travelers. It profiles six people I met during a five month trip through Africa, following each of them for a single day. They all come from different countries and backgrounds and hopefully give a different picture of the continent than we usually see in the west. The DVD just went on pre-sale this week.  

5)Did you take a camera and equipment on your recent trip to China, and if so did you experience any hassle with the local authorities?
 I did bring my camera with me and for a while I was very careful about keeping a low profile. But I overestimated the practical restrictions on shooting there, I was never hassled anywhere but Tienanmen Square where they asked to see my passport but didn't stop me from shooting. China is a terribly complicated place when it comes to stuff like that and hopefully some of that will come through when I finally put something together about China.  

6)I suffer from a need to document and photograph all of my experiences for my writing. Do you have the same compulsion, and if so do you think it impedes the ability to just enjoy travel?
Yeah, that's a tricky one. I try not to let that take over my trip but it can be hard, especially because I genuinely enjoy documenting things. Probably because of that I've become a fan of beautiful things you can't really photograph--almost anything at night is a good example. I like the idea that you only get to see it, you don't get to capture it for later.  

7)Which, if any, travel blogs do you read?
I'm a blog-skimmer and usually just for a few weeks when someone I know is out on the road. I actually find it hard to read about other peoples travels because it just makes me jealous. I'm very lucky so many people have been willing to watch mine.  

8) Do you cave in and just eat pizza sometimes?
Very rarely. I don't get much of a kick from famous attractions anymore but one part of travel that never gets old for me is the food. I'm amazed that something as simple as bread can be so good in France and then so mediocre after a two-hour drive into Spain. So I'm happy to eat noodle soup everyday in China because I won't be eating it when I leave. Plus, "pizza" is never really on the menu when you're traveling; they may call it "pizza" but what they actually serve isn't the thing I'm craving. Real pizza is waiting back here in New York and I just had some of the world's best pizza last night at a place called Di Fara in Brooklyn.

9) Do you have some basic advice on how to turn a love of travel into a career?
That is a very hard one for me to answer because I've stumbled into that in a way that would be very hard to repeat. I think its important not to be thinking of money when you start your film or book or whatever because you probably won't make any. There should be another reason you're doing it. One way to make the lifestyle work is to live more cheaply and start with some savings so you don't have to turn your project into money right away. In the internet age there's a lot of stuff you can do from a laptop anywhere in the world so your job doesn't have to be "travel" to let you travel while you work.

10) What is your favourite travel story/anecdote?
Man you are full of hard questions, Ms. Violet! Well one thing I like is when I get to go somewhere bascially because I have the camera, like it gives me an excuse to speak with someone that otherwise I wouldn't have a reason to spend time with. So when I was in Malawi for 'One Day in Africa' I was trying to follow a woman on the day she gave birth. But its really hard to know when that day will be so I started hanging out with Bridgete and waiting for the day to come, which meant I got to live with this Malawian family for a while. Just hanging out in their living room or playing with their daughter was as cool a travel experience as any "sight" I've been to.  

11) I am almost at the end of this trip. Do you have any advice for people returning to "the real world?"
Yeah, first off accept the fact that it will be the worst part of your trip. I know lots and lots of people who came home from their travels and just sat around bored and sad for years! So come up with something you'll do next and really make it happen, don't just sit on your parents couch and wait to hear back about one of the resumes you sent out.  

12) Finally, who throws the best traveling parties? Frat/bodhi guys or hippies? :)
Oh, no, no the best parties don't come from some travel click--that's the whole point of a good travel party. They're everyone's party and no ones party all at once. But they sure seem to take place on the beach a lot.

Brook Silva-Braga was born in Portsmouth, RI. He earned a journalism degree at New York University in 2001 and an Emmy the next year as a sports producer for HBO. He quit network television to travel the world and make A MAP FOR SATURDAY (2007), which was acquired by MTV and National Geographic Channel. After further adventures in journalism he hit the road for a second documentary, ONE DAY IN AFRICA (2009).

Hong Kong in One Day (With Jetlag)

Hong Kong - now with 80% less racism!

I think that to truly see everything that Hong Kong has to offer you would need a whole week (and that would include a visit to the happiest place on yadda yadda.) But I had one day. A day. A jetlagged, tired-ass day. And it was do-able - even without a map!

Stop Number 1 - You Gotta Eat! Serenade Restaurant

Alright, I rolled out of bed at 6am raring to go.....but then dicked around online writing this and reading my stories. By 10am I was finally out the door and ravenous. I headed straight from Mongkok, the slightly dodgy neighbourhood I was staying in, to Tsim Sha Tsui Promenade (MTR station by the same name - 5 HKD.) Following the signs was monkeyballs simple, and I easily made my way to the Hong Kong Cultural Centre. Inside is a highly recommended restaurant called Serenade. It may not be the grittiest or Anthony Bourdain-iest, but the view was spectacular and the Dim Sum was great. My meal (3 Dim Sum orders, Chinese tea and a coke) set me back 100 HKD including tip (about 15 CAD) - high, but worth it.

3 little 3 little 3 little veggie BBQ buns.....

Shrimp and crab roe steamed dumpling. My toes curled on this one... like, in a good way.

Remote tea leaf reading, anyone? Cuz I think it looks like (clockwise) a hockey stick, a mermaid with a snorkel (worst mermaid ever) and a winged dragon sticking his tongue out.

Stop Number 2 - Go Take a Walk: Tsim Sha Tsui Promenade

This is a really lovely boardwalk that winds it way along Victoria Harbour from the Star Ferries Dock up past the Intercontinental Hotel. I must admit, not knowing what to expect from Hong Kong's iconic skyline, the amazing bulgy realness of it gave me a start. There is something about the way that all of the buildings on Hong Kong Island jump out and rise up into the hills that is dystopic and eerie.

Futuristic 'Children of Men' like skyline. Shudder.

Tsim Sha Tsui has also been made into HK's version of the Hollywood Walk of Fame - stars and statues representing famous local actors line the boardwalk. I saw Jet Li, Bruce Lee, Chow Yun Fat, Jackie Chan and my personal favourite - Wong Kar-Wai, director of Chungking Express, In the Mood For Love and Happy Together. Yay!

Movie goddess - her dress is made from film. Me too?

Dear Bruce: please tell your son that I am pretty much over my embarrassing Crow-era crush on him. Almost. Thx.

Stop Number Three - Attempt to visit: Hong Kong Museum of Art

Which my little print out itinerary said was open every day except Tuesday. Wrong. It is closed on Thursdays, people. I have heard it is really good, and it looked cool. Even with an hour or so here, you would still have plenty of time on this day tour.

If you get started earlier that I did, head here first and switch it up with the Dim Sum - they are next door to one another.

Fail.

Stop Number Four - Go Soak Your Head: Star Ferry To Hong Kong Island

Since 1898, Star Ferries have been making the 5 minute journey back and forth from Victoria Harbour to the Central Pier on HK Island. To get there, follow the multitude of signs on Salisbury.

The ferry smells like they all do - the Vancouverite's nostalgic pong of tar and salt and gas mixing in the water. It is a lovely trip - well worth the 1.80 HKD per direction.

How do you say "Ahoy Mateys, arrrrr" in Cantonese? Oh, you don't?

Old meets New, East meets West, Violet Dear meets Hong Kong. 3 way tie.

Stop Number Five - Get High: The Peak Tram and Peak Promenade

Completed in 1888, the Peak Tram is one of those HK must sees that you would feel like an asshole if you didn't see. The tram is easily accessible from the Central Dock - just hop on the 15C bus (which runs from the bus loop at the bottom of the stairs and costs 4.20 HKD) and you will be there within 10 minutes.

Once there, pay your 47 HKD (I know, I know) for the roundtrip tram and Peak Observation Deck. It really feels like a rollercoaster, lurching out of the station at a 45 degree angle and creepily faltering a few times up the impossibly steep hill.

At the top there is a gag-worthy mall complete with Madame Tussauds, Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. (I did not even know that this was a thing) and a Burger King - but the real draw is the view from the top. Pay the 12 HKD extra for the 360 degree deck and just do it.

On top of Hong Kong-y. Not covered in cheese.

The Peak Promenade building reminds me of an alien in War of the Worlds, and then I think of this.

Stop Number Six - Flashback: Hong Kong Museum of History

This modern museum is about a 30 minute walk from the Star Ferry Harbour - just walk straight down Salisbury, and then straight up Chatham South (there is only one way you can go on each - piece a' cake.) The entrance fee is 10 HKD, with an optional audio tour for another 10.

The museum is wonderfully designed and almost Disney-esque in its scale and aesthetic, featuring a lot of reproduction living environments and cultural scenes. Beginning 400,000,000 years ago and finishing up right about now, it's span alone makes it worth the walk and the money. Make sure to stop at some of the 53 interactive video kiosks to learn more - I watched a mini-doco about Chinese Royal Opera.

Chinese Opera Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Ohmigod. Shoes.

Amazing Design. Japanese Navy-issue sake bottle from the occupation of Hong Kong during WW2. I want this tattooed on me.

Sweet little recreated Boat Dweller home.... History can be so cute.

Stop Number Seven - Til You Drop: Shopping on Nathan Road

From the museum, walk across the skybridge to Granville St (Ha!) Meander as slowly as you wish over to Nathan - you will not be able to stop yourself from shopping. Amazing shopping. Cheap, fun, exciting shopping. Shopping!!!!

Due to my backpacker budget (and unforeseen trip back to Vancouver) there were not too many purchases on my horizon. Other than the squishy hyper-lifelike BBQ Pork Bun keychain that I bought (no kidding) my purchases are detailed below.

The most famous street in HK. Get ready - this shopping will kick your ass.

This is actually in Mongkok, but illustrates the hectic mayhem of HK shopping. Addicted!

Are you as obsessed with this as I am? The reusable bag says "Mister Fat " and the shirt has a dude playing a lyre- I am gonna cut off the arms and neckband. Laid out on the shirt are tiny sparrow earrings and on the bag is an awkward long legged fawn necklace. Swoon.

Optional: Supper and/or Night Market

If you are not jetlagged as f&@% like I am, you would easily have time to head to the Temple Street Night Market. Afterward, stay in the Nathan Road area for supper at a sit down restie or for street food. Or, if you are like me, you can retire to your room at 6pm and eat Babybel cheese that you brought from Vancouver because you are too tired to put your pants back on. Your choice.

*****

Despite my tired bones and my muddled thoughts, HK was amazing. From the delicious food, the modern architecture and the insane shopping - this is a city I can get behind. I will be back!

Enjoy Hong Kong!!! Bring me a souvenir! (I already have a pork bun keychain, remember....)

A blogger without comments.....

....is like a stand-up comedian without laughter.

If you like/hate/disagree/agree with what you read - leave me some comments!

I have created a section for travel questions (answered by me, a former travel agent and a fancy-pancy world traveler) for you to pick my brain - feel free to head there as well.

I have created another section for wacky and wonderful traveler's stories - post yours!

And if you just love or hate anything I write - let me know.

xoxox

Violet Dear

Ain't No Luck About It: A Guide to Saving Money for Long Term Travel

Extended travel is not about luck – I am not lucky to be here, I earned it!

So many people, upon hearing that S and I are traveling for over a year, ask me “How? Did you inherit loads of money? Did you engage in organized crime? Did you hibernate for 2 years?”
No. The answer is simply that we chose to do something and we set out to do it – and here's some tricks that we used. Nothing is revolutionary, just common sense – but used in combination everything listed really worked for us.

I honestly think that you can start at this point, with no savings, and in less than a year be lifting off toward an extended period of travel.

Part 1 – In the Beginning there was a Dream: Before you even start saving

1)Set your goal – IE: BOOK THE TICKET!

Yes. You heard me. Book the ticket before you have the money for the whole trip. Book the ticket if that is ALL the money you have to spare – you will save the rest before you leave. Airlines will allow you to book a ticket up to 330 days in advance, with the best deals usually available approximately 6 months out. What a better motivator to save the cash and turn down that extra 7 dollar pint than the Cathay Pacific E-Ticket sitting in your inbox? The average ticket to SE Asia is 1200.00, to India a bit more. You can get it cheaper if you book it creatively – play around online with seat sales or give a travel agent a strict budget to play with – look at flying from Seattle or Detroit.

I am not suggesting that you book a ticket if you are 10K in credit card debt with a low salary and car payments – but once you get to a better place financially you can save the money for a 6 month trip in JUST SIX MONTHS – I promise. Steps to get to that good place are similar to the following steps – if you are in a really bad place, head to a credit advisor or get a second job – you can do it!

2)Get a plan, Stan.

Where do you want to go? Europe is hella expensive. I still think you can do it....but you probably need some existing savings. Asia? No problem. Things in the developing world are shockingly cheap – a budget of 30 CAD per person a day gets you a nice lifestyle in most places – not including flights (although are dirt cheap on Air Asia.com). On this budget you will go over some days and under others – just keep track and make it even out when you can. So – 30 bucks times 180 days 5400.00
This is the minimum amount of money you will need for 6 months in Asia. You will of course need to add all of the irritating expenses from step 4, as well as a traveling costs (internal Asia flights, trains etc) and any expenses that will continue to accrue at home while you travel – so you can safely budget 8K for 6 months (perhaps more, depending on apartment sitch.)
It is so do-able. You can do it.

Planning your route – at least getting a rough idea – is important to do in advance, as you may want to avoid flying in and out of expensive cities like Singapore, Delhi and Kuala Lumpur if you think you might be tight on cash. Planning also helps you avoid any needless backtracking as it is money down the squat toilet.

3)Your Place or Mine...or your Mom's?

There are a lot of things you need to pay out for before you go – but lets get one out of the way first:
Your place. Are you gonna keep it or give it up? If you're keeping it, can you get someone to sublet for the price of the rent/mortgage you pay? There are websites dedicated to house swaps and house sitters – have a look. If not – you have to add that amount to your savings....so I say LET IT GO!

With your new Eastern enlightenment you will soon realize that things like a kickass apartment *sniff* mean less after you travel. Consider spending the last 2 months in Canada at your parent's place – even if you're thirty. No rent, free food (or for a small fee) - if you can hack it, do it. It can mean an extra 1-2 Grand in the bank.

You will also need a budget to move your crap into a storage space – about 100 bucks for a truck and pizzas – and you will need a storage locker. Hopefully you can leave it at your parent's house, or a kind friend's or uncle's or? It'll save you cash – like 500 bucks worth– so beg and plead for some space in someone's shed.

One more thing if you do move – remember to file a change of address with the post office (and contact your bank, federal gov't -for taxtime - etc to alert them of the changes) This does cost a wee bit of money – remember to do it.

4)The Practical...errrr.....boring details.

This is where shit gets annoying. You will have saved and planned and pleaded – and now here comes practicality to budge on in and bleed you dry before you've even wrapped your lips around a Chang beer. You will need money – and no small sum, for the following things:

a) A good backpack: count on 200 bones. Get a suitcase style zipper and not a top loading – you will thank me. Also, choose the size that you think you will need, and then make your friends tie your hands behind your back and force you to purchase the size smaller.

b)A few articles of travel clothing and toiletries: but remember, everything except for sunblock is wayyy cheaper in Asia, and you might as well wait until you get here to stock up.

c)Pricks and Pills: Surprisingly, if you have a good job your prescription plan will cover 80% of the cost of these – even if the travel clinic lady says that they won't. Submit the claim forms – what's the worst they'll say? In case you have no coverage, plan on about 400 bucks (ouch!) or higher if you go for the fancier malaria pills (which I say – don't do it!). Any other pills – IE: antibiotics, birth control, allergy pills – are available here, and for a tenth the cost, so just consider hitting up a Bangkok pharmacy.

d) A Years Supply of anything you cannot live without: Good face cream from Dermalogica? A special brand of contact lenses? MAC foundation in NW20? Better just buy it and bring it – but ONLY if it is small.

e) INSURANCE: No, your credit card will not cover you. No, you cannot afford the cost of an emergency airlift to Singapore. You need insurance. The cheapest price I could find was 1 buck a day, with BCAA. You have to do this.
Remember to cancel your BC Blue Cross to avoid being charged 50 bucks a month for the months that you are not here – that does add up.

f) You may want to consider leaving a small sum aside for your return – the week or two before you get that first paycheque when you get home. If you are not going back to your old job, that period may be longer. You can always 'seat of your pants' it when you get home – but if thats not your style, you'll need a bit of dough.

g)Other little but potentially costly things? Good trekking sandals, a camera, swiss army knife and a guidebook. Look here for other great backpacking goodies....

All together these annoying things can add up to over 2 Grand, but you will have saved and planned for them so they will not shock you at all. Make sure that you incorporate every other possible travel expense that you may have so that you can adjust accordingly.

Part 2 – Now for the Dirty Work – Saving the Cash.

1.Break out the Spreadsheets – Get a Budget.

Its not as daunting as it seems – and you have to do this. Excel is not a necessity, you can use pen and paper, but a spreadsheet really helps you to tinker with numbers and adjust them up and down. For instance, taking 10 bucks out of one column and adding 23 to another and eliminating another all together.....gets messy without a good computer program. Ask someone for help if you've never used it.

Look at what you have been spending your cash on until now, perhaps even track all of your spending for one month, and really re-evaluate what you can do without. DO NOT skimp on existing bill payments – but you may consider going to a lower monthly payment on student loans (but not your credit card – you have to CLEAR that sucker before you go.)

Our sample budget during the 6 months before we left:
1300 – rent
200 – Jess student loan
240 - on restaurants, lunches and coffees (30 per person per week) (this is DRAMATICALLY lower than it had been)
100 – bar/pub/entertainment
120 – phone bills
20 – cat food
20 – cabs/bus fare (this is DRAMATICALLY lower than it had been)
40 – personal hygiene products
350 – groceries (150 for a big shop every 2 weeks, plus 50 for our local produce store)
100 – alcohol
25 – gifts
2515.00

And that was ALL we bought. If it was not in the budget, we didn't do it. No magazines. No dollar pizza slice. No cute pair of shoes that were on sale. Nothin'.
I know a lot of you drive cars – but if you can, walk or ride your bike to work. If you cannot, get a bus pass – you will save loads.

Play around with your numbers and find a combo that works for you – and STICK TO IT.

I don't want to give away exact salaries – but I think that you can all guess that this amount left a substantial amount leftover for us. Single peeps, I know that your expenses are a bit higher per person but you can make this work. If not – get a part time job. I am not joking – we met one woman in her 50s who worked 2 full time jobs and 1 part time job so that she could take a year off. If she can do it you can too. THERE IS NO EXCUSE! If you want it you can have it.

There is no magic secret to budgeting – you just have to suck it up and follow the plan.

2)Hey Good Lookin', Time to Get Cookin'!

This is the main way that we saved money – you can save up to 500+ a month just from eliminating restaurants and bought lunches. S and I discovered that we were wasting gobs and gobs of money on restaurants, lunches and weekend brunch. You HAVE to STOP this MADNESS. Stop it. Cook food. Cook delicious, extravagant food that will make you happy and satiated and quell your need for restaurant food. Here's how to turn the abstract into the reality – the Food Plan.

Every day of the week needs to be planned like an OCD soccer mum's weekly schedule. On a calendar, plan delicious menus for every day, including lunches and breakfasts on the weekends – even snacks. Now write your grocery list based on the meals you are planning on preparing, add a few extras for snacks (kept in your desk and the fridge at work) and STICK TO IT. Stick to it, not as a diet but as a budget plan that you cannot falter from. Look at work schedules, plans, events etc to make sure each day will work. This takes me about 90 minutes to do – and I have practice!

Love ordering pizza at 25 bucks a pop? Learn to dress a Boboli crust and make it exactly the way you want it.

Eggs Benny at the Reef? Grab a packet of “you cannot possibly fuck this up” Hollandaise powder and an egg poacher, spice it with some jerk sauce and there you go.

Even if you insist on picking up 2 rolls from your favourite sushi place, make your own miso and edamame, and eat it at home – with drinks you save over 10 bucks plus tip this way.

At the grocery store, try to save money everywhere possible, but make sure you buy wonderful ingredients and yummy things so that you are not tempted to stray. If you have Brie cheese and olives in the icebox what else could you need? Shop for two weeks using your lovely food plan and amazing grocery list based on that plan, and only stop at the local expensive market to pick up a few bucks of fresh veggies a few times a week. This saves you from the expense of food going bad in your fridge (wasted $$$$) and curbs impulse buys on a Tuesday after work.

Keep 2 or 3 microwave meals in the fridge at work and at home – they are more money that cooking your own, but cheaper than buying lunch out. Use them sparingly, but on those days that you are running out the door they will save your arse and keep you on budget.

Because you are human, give yourself 30 bucks a week to do with what you choose – go for brunch twice, once for sushi, buy lunch three times – I don't care. If your friends insist you come out to the new pricey Izakaya – ask them to pay. You have no shame! Potlucks are another great money saver – your friends will be totally understanding and it saves soooooo much money. But do not break down - think about fruity drinks on the beach in Borneo to sustain you in your times of need.

If your mum offers to take you out for supper, ask for the cash equivalent and make her some pasta, pocket the change and voila! Happy proud mum eating homecooked child food – her favourite – and an extra 40 bucks in your pocket!

3)Every Measly Buck Counts

You will not believe what 1 buck can buy you here – so whenever you can, pocket it. Save and roll change, return your empties, clip coupons, buy on sale and in bulk. Every penny should be thought about – and that includes late night cabs (walk or bus – you did it when you were younger!) and coffees. No more S'Buckies – you have to take your own coffee or tea, even leave some at work so you are not tempted to splurge. No movie rentals - download! Cancel the gym membership you don't use, cancel the paper subscription, no more magazines (read them online for free!) 8 dollars a day on coffee and a magazine can turn into 60 bucks a week in the bank – and that is two full days of travel. So get your priorities straight and your head outta your ass! I easily saved 50-100 dollars a week by cutting out all of the tiny splurges.

4)Pretty Painted Clothes Horse or Seasoned Travel Guru?

Well, which do you wanna be? You are about to travel to Asia and learn a ton about the world and yourself – you do not need that dress. You do not need those shoes. You do not need that handbag, tube of lipgloss, bathbomb or blowdry. I have slowly gotten rid of every single piece of clothing I brought with me and replaced it with cheap locally bought stuff – and the bursting closet of clothing I have at home seems silly and excessive (and will all be wayyyy too big. Yay!) In the 6 months before you set out, do not buy any DVDs, clothing, concert tickets, birthday gifts (your friends and family will understand.)
No more mani/pedis at 40 bucks a pop, no more 30 dollar blow outs, no more massages – pluck your own brows and paint your own toes!
Leave your debit card at home. I saved – gulp – 400 + (++++++) a month simply by not shopping or paying for beauty treatments, S just as much.

5)Yard Party!!!! (Or kitchen, living room.....)

Well, it's come to this. You have to invite people over – you can't go to the bar. If your friends want you to come out for some pints they are going to have to buy all but the 2 that are in your budget ( We gave ourselves 100 a month – for 2 of us – for an entertainment budget – including movies.) Have your peeps over, drink some Painted Turtle or Bowen Island (the cheap but good stuff....well, good-ish) buy some cheap snacks (homemade hummus with pita chips is pennies a serving and makes people happy) and play a boardgame – corny as it may seem now you are headed to parties beyond your imagination in SE Asia!
If you do go out, drink the special, and try to get your friends to return all the drinks that you bought them when you were free spendin' with your loads of cash. We saved, as a couple, at least 400 bucks a month (sometimes more) by not drinking in bars and clubs – I know some people whose savings would be over 1K/month.
Think about that. In 6 months that is their entire trip, less airfare and bits n bobs, just from bars, clubs and (partially) restaurants. What will you remember more on your deathbed?

6) The 3 R's – Use Them For Your Own Personal Gain!

Reduce, Reuse and Recycle – you are saving the planet (and you owe it for your long haul flight.)
Seriously – this is not just an 80's fad – you can save so much money this way.

Reduce – reduce all of the stupid spending! Cut back on packaged foods, scrape out that make-up container, stop buying new clothes, stop buying DVDs and stop consuming your weight in dranks at the bar! You can save sooo much money if you stop your gluttony. I know I did.

Reuse – Everything. It may sound icky, but rinsing out ziplocs, tinfoil and disposable containers saves you cash. Always carry a re-usable water bottle so that you never have to waste your money on something that is free.

Recycle – In the year that you are saving, need a new kettle? Or humidifier? Or..... anything? Forget buying new. You have a few choices – Value Village, Craig's List, and even better: Freecycle.org.
Life's not about fancy department store bags – used and free is better than new and....not free.

7) The Early Bird Stops the Panic?

Get as much of the packing (your backpack and apartment) done in advance, and get those small details on a list, and then start checking it off. Leaving shit til the last minute ends up costing you money as you panic and try to cram weeks of work into days.

8)Take advantage of 'em.

You heard me. If someone is willing to make you supper, take you out or buy you a drink you better get on that shit. Any free meal is a meal that doesn't come out of your food budget, and that is the most important thing that there is. Does your work offer per diems of taxi vouchers or any kind of expense account? Think long and hard about how you can use that (morally.)

Free calories are good calories – if someone brings goodies into the office you gotta grab some – even if you are just bringing them home for S. Leftover pizza at a pizza party? That should go home with you. Fixin' bars? Meant to be pilfered. Buffets too......

Part 3 – Motivational “Van Down By the River” Section

Anyone can do this – you can do this! Money is not some scary thing that gets away from you – you have the power and you control it, not the other way around. S and I were lucky enough to have good salaries and some extra wiggle room, but at any salary level a lot of this is possible. Take a second job where you can earn tips, or grab as much overtime as you can.

When you stop spending like crazy on the small things it is amazing how much money starts accumulating in your bank accounts – money that you can use toward a truly amazing life changing experience. I plan on using these ideas to save for everything in the future – after doing this once when I think of wasting 300 dollars in a single day on bars, restaurants, taxis and treats I feel ill.

I know that I am not the most authoritative voice on the matter, but if you have kids this is still all possible. You may need more time to save, but consider traveling before they are 2 years old ( at 20 or 22 months) so that their hotel and airfare is free! Up to 12 years old and they get substantial discounts on air, train and hotel. We see a lot of families with small kids traveling (hippies, expats and middle American types alike!) and they unanimously agree that it is really rewarding, fun and exciting.

Travel saving feels different from other savings – less like a chore - but that all said, is this feasible as a long term savings plan over a year in length? I personally don't think so – I would go squirrelly, but you could adapt it and pick and choose what works for you. The simple fact is that once you get used to re-using and making do, saving and scrimping – it actually becomes a fun challenge to see how much money you can save.

Ask me more in a year or so – I'll be saving for South America.....

Need some help with travel questions?

In an effort to drum up readership, from now until December 30 (when I start school again) I am offering to answer any travel questions that anyone has - in detail. As a former travel agent and a world traveler I have a lot of knowledge - and it can benefit you! For plane ticket help, itineraries, accomodation and culture questions asking me is wayyy better than posting on a forum and hoping someone answers. Let me know if I can help!


If I answer your question I only ask one favour in return....that you become a "follower" of my blog and post the link on your facebook and twitter page. :D
Cheers!

40 tips for a first-time trip to India... UPDATED!

Namaste and good luck!

1. Sometimes, you just gotta give up. See, many small scenarios are going to irritate, anger and frustrate you – and your instinct will be to raise your voice or question the bizarre information or instructions you are getting.  If it is a big deal – well, you should stand up for yourself. But remember that getting in an argument may seem satisfying now, but you'll usually feel shitty about it later. So give up. Pay a bit more. If someone in charge is asking you to do something stupid, just do it. It's easier, it'll save you a headache and your pulse rate will remain normal, which, on a 40 degree day, is worth it.
   
   
2. Do not let people in busy places (train stations etc) see that you are intimidated, afraid, confused or overwhelmed. Even if you're pissed, don't raise your voice or have a hissy - just use your best acting skills and remain mellow. People will undoubtedly be confused as to why you are making angry faces at what to them is a normal situation. They will pity you for being so uptight, and not connect your irritation to anything that they are doing to cause said irritation. So you gotta be chill!
   
   
3. Most of the typical scams found in movies and detailed in Lonely Planet do not occur anymore. Therefore, your shoes will not get stolen at monuments, no one is refilling old water bottles with tap water and re-selling them, the shoeshine kids don't squirt crap on your shoes only to offer to clean them. Despite this – ALWAYS decide on a price for everything in advance – tuktuks (called auto rickshaws here), a shoeshine, fruit, whatever. Never hammer it out later – people will try to rip you off an unimaginable amount.

4. Learn as much Hindi as you can. Wobble your head from side to side to indicate yes and maybe. Learn about cricket and Bollywood. Call people “didi” (older sister) and “bhai” (older brother) and say “Accha!” to indicate good or okay. Play in the street with children. Be calm and amiable (see number 2). It's more fun this way, people will like you, and your experience will be much better..

5. Trains are pretty easy - a monkey could navigate them (and many probably have, judging by the huge populations living at the stations). Book online – there are 2 websites, but you can only book on one irctc.com. You need to know the station names and select the specific class you want - you will get you an error if there is no through train – ie: if you have to connect and take a different train at a midpoint, and also if there is no “AC chair car”. There might still be a train – play around with classes. Try indiamike.com for detailed info – the message board is a life-saver. 
   
   At a glance Night Trains:
   • 1^st Class Sleeper– does not exist on most trains, but it is more like the Darjeeling Limited with private cabins and a server
   • 2^nd class Sleeper: Both 2 and 3 berth (means 3 tiers or 2 tiers when converted at night– most backpackers take 3AC – not to be confused with 3^rd class) - solid options, but 3AC can be REALLY loud. Both have clean sheets and blankets, but there are cockroaches and mice on some routes (Varanasi – Agra is a badddd one). 2AC is better for a more restful sleep – you get a curtain and it is much less crowded.
   • Sleeper – same as 3AC, but with no AC. The lack of AC means that the windows are open, and that can mean that it is either wayyy too hot in the Summer, or wayyy too cold in the Winter. This class will be pretty crowded – see below. No blankets or sheets provided.
   • 3^rd Class – see entry below, hippie.

   
   
   At a Glance Day Trains:
   • AC Chair Car- As close to a Western train as you're gonna get. For day trips it is even cheaper than sitting in 2AC/3AC – and it includes a meal (ack) and a bottle of water. Really good.
   • Chair Car – Same as above, no AC and no meal.
   • 2AC and 3AC - On trains that do not have Chair Cars, this is the nicest option.
   • Sleeper - If you don't need AC, this is a better price.
   • 3^rd Class – This is the Indian train you have seen in movies, with people hanging off the sides. It has no assigned seating and is only good if you are really committed to having the most authentic experience possible. If you are that much of a hippie ( I kid! I love you guys. Ish) do remember that you will not have anywhere to put your bag, and you probably won't get a seat. This is also available at night.... but don't.

   
   
6. On trains, bring food – you can only get unhealthy deep fried stuff and sweet white bread sandwiches, and the chai wallah (seller) will wake you up at 5am. (And 5:05, 5:10 and so on.) Sleep with your passport etc under your head, and bring earplugs or ipod. Some people even bike-lock their bags to the bottom of the bunk, but keep valuables on your bunk with you no matter what. A lot of folks in India are used to the volume of life in general being a lot louder than in the West – some people they talk loudly the whole night if they are not tired or are squished 4 to a berth (not technically allowed, but happens when trains are overbooked). It's important to remember that they and don't consider it rude – sometimes they even sing. So try to be chill about it, even when you are exhausted!
   
   
7. You will be stared at. Let's just be honest about that.  Like, epic staring. Open mouthed, crowd around you, intense staring. There is nothing you can do about it. Just remember that it is not rude here, so don't get offended. You're just a neat novelty! That is my mantra about many things in India “It is not rude here, it is not rude here, it is not rude here.....”
   
   
8. If you are a dude, do not get too friendly, smiley etc with any women until you really know them – you could really offend their modesty. Prostitutes dress just like other women, but they can be identified because they hold eye contact, so trying to make eye contact with all women can be problematic.
   
   
9. An average tip for a porter, beggar, etc is 10 rupees. They sometimes call this “baksheesh,” although that can also mean a bribe. (So can 'Tea Money” - if you get asked for a bribe, pay it. Just pay it. Give up. See number 1.)You do not need to tip auto rickshaw drivers. At touristy restaurants tip 10% or just round up a bit.

10. Many Indians WILL NOT tell you no. They will tell you “5 minutes” “Maybe” or “Soon” instead (the only exception is at restaurants, which often are out of more than half of the menu's dishes.) This is a major problem when asking for directions – they will make stuff up rather than admit they don't know and potentially disappoint you. Do not point and ask “Is it this way?” because the answer will be yes. Ask “Which way is it?” instead. Its not foolproof, but you have a better chance of getting a correct answer.
    
    
11. Some of the religious men offering you a flower and red bracelet on the street (especially in Varanasi, Pushkar, and also in Kathmandu, Nepal) are trying to cheat you. Do not take the flower. (They do this prayer thing for the happiness of your relatives in heaven and then demand up to 1000 rupees.) Say you already did the ceremony in Varanasi. You can get this genuine prayer inside a temple or ashram if you want it.
    
    
12. If someone is dressed as a god, animal, or in fancy costume in any way – and you take a photo – you will owe them 10 rupees. Sometimes its totally worth it, just remember this before snapping away.
    
    
13. Spend 2 to 3 weeks in Rasjastan. It is the most magical part of India (not necessarily the most beautiful). Jasailmer, Pushkar, Jodhpur, Udaipur and Bundi are all amazing – in my opinion you can skip Jaipur. I suggest heading straight to Jasailmer (it's the farthest away) on a night train from Delhi and have it be your first city. Its amazing – do a camel safari. Drink a lot of masala chai in Rajasthan -its the best in India. Thalis are also good here – a selection of foods served on a metal tray.
    
    
14. Delhi is awesome, but you might hate it at first - like, really hate it. It may seem dirty, insane, charmless and intolerable! BUT - if you go back a second time it will seem completely modern, clean and pleasant compared to most of India. Take a cycle rickshaw around Old Delhi – the madness and chaos made it one of my favourite things I did in India. Other highlights are the Gandhi Smrti, Q'Tub Minar, Hamayan's Tomb and the Jama Masjid.
    
    
15. Try to engage in some spiritual activities – yoga at an ashram, Ganga Aarti ( night prayer ceremony on the Ganges) Tibetan Buddhist meditation in Dharamsala. I mean, don't be a douche about it ;) and get all serious, but try some of it out. After all, when in Rome! (Or, like, Udaipur...)
    
    
16. Stay away from meat. Just don't even touch it – other than seafood in Goa and Kerala (Keralan fried fish is one of my favourite meals ever – you have to try it!) Many people who get sick get sick from the meat. I suggest hand sanitizing a lot until your stomach gets used to India....keep some ciprofloxin on hand in case you get an attack of traveler's stomach. Lassi (yoghurt shakes) are safe – just ask if they use mineral water for the ice. I personally think that street food is safe – veg stuff. If its a busy stall it should be fine – sweets, samosas and kachooris are all good! Food at hotels is invariably bland and overpriced – get out of the hotel! Western food is uniformly terrible unless it is from a restaurant that only serves that one type of cuisine...
    
    
17. Malaria, typhoid, dengue and Japanese encephalitis are all here – do not get bitten by mosquitoes. Rabies is also a problem – the biggest culprits are dogs, monkeys and bats, and there are a lot of those – especially at train stations.
    
    
18. It is up to you if you give money to kids, but I never, ever do.  I usually give to disabled people and the elderly, but not kids – they are often being controlled by little slave owners who keep their earnings. Even if this is not the case, they are being kept from school to do this, and they make more than you think they do.
    
    
19. Read Shantaram. Everyone does, and it's for a reason. Other Indian fiction that I love includes:
    • A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
    • A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
    • The Inheritance of Loss – Kiran Desai
    • White Tiger – Aravind Adega
    • The God of Small Things - Arundhati Roi
    • Midnight's Children – Salman Rushdie
    Reading about Indian culture, religion and history will also get you prepared – you will notice the small things that are easily missed, and your experience will be much richer for it.
    
    
20. Don't eat cut fruit from the street – it has been sprayed with dirty water from a bucket to make it look fresh and appealing – hello dysentery! Use your swiss army knife to peel and cut your own fruit.
    
    
21. They will not understand your accent – try shortening the vowel sounds. (Our English overemphasizes vowels, their English overemphasizes consonants). You can also try a Hindi accent – it works! Therefore, Aarey Colony (where we lived in Mumbai) became Ahdie Chllonny. Use British terms whenever they exist – ie: capsicum instead of green pepper, lift instead of elevator, torch instead of flashlight, plasters instead of band-aids etc.
    
    
22. No, dudes are not getting gay everywhere you look. Men here hold hands, cuddle, spoon and vacation together without women – and its totally hetero. I still giggle, but it is totally normal here. Conversely, no PDAs at all for hetero couples, including hand holding.
    
    
23. Do not listen to drivers when they claim that the hotel you are interested in is full/closed/bad/exploded – they just want to take you to a hotel that will pay them commission. Insist on going to the hotel you want to go to.
    
    
24. Swastikas are everywhere – no one is a Nazi! Its a Hindu/Jain/Buddhist symbol meaning peace.
    
    
25. If you take a local bus (ie: not a tourist “AC luxury bus”) there will be a narrow compartment of people squished in above you, and even more people on the roof. Because some rurally based people don't travel in vehicles very often they can get motion sick quite easily and then puke out the windows (if you're lucky they puke OUT and not IN.) Just keep your window shut, because they also spit water, paan (tobacco stuff) and actual spit out the windows as well, and if you are on the bottom it will swing back in and land all over you. I know this from experience. *Shudder*
    
    
26. Spitting. It happens. In public. A LOT. Giant lung clearing hoarking spitting. And its not considered rude, so it happens in a lot of places that would be unimaginable at home. Restaurants have sinks in the middle of the dining area – though they is meant to be for washing your hands, people use it more for spitting, so there are often bit gobs sitting there. I suggest that you use a hand wipe and refrain from the sink until AFTER you eat, so that you do not lose your appetite. (....it's not rude here, it's not rude here.....)
    
    
27. Only use your right hand to eat and shake hands with. The left hand is considered dirty and for bathroom duties. Always wash your hands before you eat, or at least use a handiwipe – some restaurants will give you a fork and spoon, and some will not, so it is best to be prepared to use your hands.
    
    
28. Get your leftover food packed up and take it to go, and then peel the plastic off and leave it in the street where a dog or cow will eat it - they depend on garbage to live. But make sure you remove the plastic – cows are dumb guys and will eat it if it smells like food and it twists up their guts and they just kind of die on the street. Sad.
    
    
29. Check your sheets and bathrooms when you check in – hotels employ young men and they are invariably not used to domestic work because the women in their families have always done it for them. Therefore – they will often just make the bed instead of changing the sheets. Ick.
    
    
30. Ladies, no shoulders or knees unless you are in Goa, or unless you want to be like a stupid insensitive European hippie. *Shakes fist* You will get used to the heat – I promise! A thin gauzy scarf can be used as a shoulder covering – and helps keep a sunburn at bay. Spaghetti straps, tank tops, skirts above the knee, shorts, tube tops – well, you can wear them if you want. But keep in mind that you are offending everyone around you, people are laughing and pointing when your back is turned and you are also propagating the stereotype that Western women are easy, cheap and inappropriate. Thanks for that. The exceptions are touristy restaurants and nightclubs/pubs. When swimming in places other than Goa's beaches or a hotel pool, you need to wear capris and a tee shirt – no bikinis.
    
    
31. You can eat free meals, and even stay for free, at every Sikh Gurudwara (temple.) The most famous is the Golden Temple, in Amritsar where they even have dorms specifically for Westerners. It is an amazing place, a must–see. If you do stay or eat, make sure to offer a donation and be respectful of the worshipers. The Gurudwara is one of the only places where if someone approaches you to show you around they are not trying to get money out of you – so feel free to listen! The dude will probably be from Delta or Abbotsford – no kidding.
    
    
32. Beer. Kingfisher is delicious (to a point – I'll explain) with a spicy curry or a samosa snack – but good luck getting it. First of all – any restaurant that is “Family” or “Pure Vegetarian” has no booze, and people will look at you like you are an unsavoury lout if you ask for some (there is a slightly seedy, shameful opinion of people who drink in India). Finding a bar can be really difficult – we have had to resort to Ruby Tuesdays and TGI Friday's (both ridonkulously expensive) a few times. Secondly, there are dozens of random “No Alcohol” days in India: Gandhi-ji's birthday, state holidays, Nehru's death date – and they always manage to fall on a day that you were planning on going on the piss. It sucks.
    
    Finally, you might not want to drink all that much beer – in India all beer sold (including imports like Bud and Fosters that are actually made in India under license) must have a glycerol based additive. We can't figure out exactly why, but apparently it is a preservative? The additive gives the beer a dirty pennies taste, and gives MASSIVE hangovers after only 2 or 3 brewsks. There is a sneaky way to get around it (I learned this from Lonely Planet.) Take the beer and a glass of cold water. Open the beer and upend the bottle into the glass for a few minutes, and watch in horror as all of this weird oily stuff comes out and swirls around in the water – it is heavier than the beer and therefore will come out first, leaving 95% of your actual beer still in the bottle. The remainder will be fresher tasting and won't beat your head in the next day. Ta-da!
    
33. Homestays are amazing – seek them out whenever possible. This is often the only place where you can get real homecooked Indian food made by a woman (women in the North do not work outside the home except in Delhi and Punjab) The food, the atmosphere, engaging people in conversation, participating in daily life – this is what traveling is all about. Forgo fancy hotels - I recommend as many homestays as you can do. My 2 favourites were Orchard Huts (ask for Nitin) in the Chamba Valley, and Green Palm Home (ask for Thomas) near Alleppey.
    
    
34. When you take buses, make sure that your valuables are with you in a smaller bag at all times, and if you have a few small locks affix them to the outer zippers of your big pack. Your bag with most likely be tied to the roof of the bus, where up to 20 young men will be riding. It is not uncommon for people to have their bags rifled through. This comes more from curiosity about what weirdo backpackers have in their packs than from people actually wanting to steal, but that does happen occasionally. It is better not to tempt people by leaving cameras, Ipods, laptops and money in your big pack. Also, make sure that the ropes attaching your bag to the bus are secure – you do not want your bag flying down the highway and getting run over by a tractor and a herd of water buffaloes.
    
    
35. Women, if a man grabs you or is leering too much – YELL. The boob grabbing stems from the stereotypes about Western women that 40 years of stupid hippies and Western media have helped to spread (see point 28), so men will try to pull shit with you that they would never ever dream of doing to an local woman. This is the one time that yelling is effective – he will be shamed and yelled at by the people around. While it is rare, when it does happen the most common time is in an auto rickshaw – either by passersby or the driver himself(We know 2 women that have had their boobs grabbed in Jaipur). Like I said – Yell.
    
    
36. Don't let people give you back ripped or otherwise damaged bills – at many places they will not accept them, and the only way they get moved around as currency is in the pockets of gullible backpackers. Hand the Rupees back if they are even torn slightly and ask for new ones.
    
    
37. Try not to need the doctor. Private practices do not seem to exist – you must go to a crowded hospital for all care. The hospital I went to was supposed to be a swanky one that Bollywood stars choose, but we waited for 4 hours in a dirty, crowded, noisy waiting room filled with queue jumpers and starey-pantses. If it is not an emergency, just wait til Thailand. Or Singapore. Or anywhere else in the world.
    
    
38. The exteriors and common spaces of pretty much all buildings are decrepit and dirty – but inside the flats some are really nice! I apologized continuously for the feral dog and garbage-filled lobby and halls of our building (which I had described as “Baghdad Hospital Chic” when I first saw them) to some Indian friends. They looked around, genuinely confused and said it was 'fine' and 'normal.' There seems to be no way to tell if the apartment you are about to enter will be nice or not – so don't panic if you feel like you are entering a charnel house. Chances are the flat itself will be decent and clean.
    
    
39. Shoes off in all temples, most small shops, some guesthouses and all people's homes. You can tell if it is expected of you if there is a pile of flip flops (they call them chappals or slippers) by the entrance.
    
    
40. If food or drink is offered to you in a private home or shop, it is extremely rude to turn it down (unless you are vegetarian and the food is 'non-veg,' my favourite Indianism.) Even if it is not to your taste, try to eat/drink some.

You might spend most of your time in India wishing it was over, and when you leave you will start planning ways to get back. I promise.

I can give more specific advice on itineraries, guesthouses and trains – just leave a comment with your question and I will try to answer it.

xoxo