12 July 2009

Oh Loyal Fans and Friends.....


Please please PUH-LEASE vote for me here:

http://www.blogyourwaytoantarctica.com/blogs/view/318


The person with the most votes gets the title of "official blogger" for Quark Expedition's Feb 2010 Antarctica Adventure. I think we can all agree that my commentary would be the most amusing....

SO here it is again:

http://www.blogyourwaytoantarctica.com/blogs/view/318


Ask your friends and family to vote as well! Co-workers! Mailman! Dog Walker! Manicurist!

Thanks!!!

11 July 2009

The real reason to visit Ha Long Bay....

Tiny wittle limes mixed with freshly cracked black pepper and sea salt.
I believe that angels smear their wings with this mixture.


Ha Long Bay is the leading candidate for Seven New Wonders of the World - an amazing, jaw dropping "have to see it to believe it" kind of place. And I had. Seen it. One year earlier, to be exact, while on a business trip and it was amazing and my jaw did drop. I wanted S to experience the same thing and I was counting my blessings that I was going to see it again.

Normally we are on a tight, tight backpacker budget that forces us into fan cooled rooms with questionable stains on the walls, the sounds of the noisy street (or beach) keeping us awake. But for this, our one night (well, my second one night) on Ha Long Bay sleeping in a junk boat, for this we decided to splash out a bit. And what a difference that 20 extra dollars can make! The food on my trip last year had been good - a solid good. But this year.....just look.

Happiness is a cold shrimp.

The first course of lunch. We knew that things were looking good when this plate of humongous shrimp (I like to call'em shramp) were set down in front of us. We peeled these guys and dipped them (who am I trying to kid? I bathed mine...) in the limey, salty peppery mixture you see at the top of this page.

Lookit me, all purple and tentacle-y.....

I will let you in on a secret. I like eating squid, octopus and cuttlefish the most when they are purple. I have no idea why. When you place a plate of pale white calamari in front of me my stomach is like "nope" but when I see a piece of tako that is the colour of concord grape juice something in my brain breaks and I become submissive to its charms.

I cut the water spinach out of the photo, because no one cares about it, do they?
Not with all this fish around!


Yes - we are still on lunch! You may recall that I am normally a vegetarian (an ass kickin' food lovin' one) but on this trip I decided to eat fish because frankly, I think they are dicks. The wonderful staff on this boat made us an entirely pescetarian 5-course meal. This was a lovely fish steak smothered in a sort of Vietnamese warm salsa - tomatoes, onions both spring and white, chili and of course, garlic.

Look at my junk.

Our boat was much nicer than our course backpacker senses were accustomed to. Every thing was dark wood polished to a high sheen - very posh.


It's the little details that count, people. Cold towels are heavenly in this muggy heat.

We eyed the requisite karaoke machine with suspicion, knowing full well that all of the Da Lat wine and Ha Noi beer was going to loosen us up enough to give it a go. But first, a perfect simple photo of a cold towel in a little laquered basket.

I like all of these things in the photo.
Especially the wine.

I am really at my very happiest when a meal begins with a vase of jumbo shramp and some carved vegetable flowers. I want every meal to start with these things. Do not be surprised if you come to my house and I present you with a tall refreshing glass of shrimp and a carrot rosette before you're even all the way in the door.

Oh little buggers, why must you be so potentially ensickening?

These were in served in a really light broth - mostly clam nectar and garlic and were very delicate and pretty, but....I have had a bad relationship with bivalves since a terrible, horrible, life changing-ly bad bout of food poisoning from mussels a few years ago. Only recently have I been able to even entertain the notion of placing a clam anywhere near my mouth - but these boys made the cut! Cautiously, mind you - I only ate about 5 and even then was terrified to go to sleep, as if they were little clam axe-murderers just waiting for me to relax and close my eyes.

Holy *&%$! Holy *&%ing crap! I actually died and S had to revive me.
It wasn't hard - he just had to wave one of these near my face....

For the grand finale: crab shells stuffed with crab cakes. Just when I was feeling a little riced out, a little accosted with lemongrass (I hate the stuff and am pummeled with it daily) they brought these little gems out. Now, I don't harbour any notions that these are in any way Vietnamese other than the fact that the crab lived here, but let me tell you: I was one pinch of Old Bay Seasoning and a little pot of aioli away from sheer bliss.

Oh yeah.... I present to you just a fraction of the wonder and beauty of Ha Long Bay

I will always remember my first time to Ha Long Bay. I will remember the beauty, the eerie calm, the almost spooky way that the karst rock formations jut out from the murky sea. It was magic in the truest sense of the word.

But my second trip? I will think about those tiny limes, the plump shrimp, the delicate blush of an octopus tentacle, the meatiness of the rich crab meat.

And I'll look you straight in the eye and tell you that the first time was more meaningful.

You'll believe me, right?

(If you want to have this same experience book this trip with the nice guys at wide eyed tours (these are the same class act guys that GAP Adventures contracts to - you know they gotta be good!) You can book in advance or just pop in when you get to Hanoi. Yes - it is a bit more expensive than the cheapie ones you can get in Old Hanoi. Shut up. Just book it.)

09 July 2009

A Day of Dissent in Mandalay - Part 2: The Moustache Brothers, Comedy's Most Wanted




So I had a toothache, and so I went over the border to Thailand. The dentist took a look at me and said “What, in Myanmar don't they have dentists?” I looked at him and said - “In Myanmar, we have dentist – but we're not allowed to open our mouths!”

Lu Maw, Moustache Brother

Mandalay's star attraction has nothing to do with temples or teak bridges. The real reason to visit the second largest city in Burma is for Lu Zaw, Lu Maw and Par Par Lay. The Moustache Brothers – the Myanmar government's enemy number 1.

The Moustache Brothers are a traditional A Nyient group – a mixture of vaudeville, traditional dancing and one liner stand-up – and they had traveled the country for decades with their act until a rare opportunity to perform in front of Aung San Suu Kyi at an huge event in Rangoon. That evening, in front of members of the government, Par Par Lay decided to infuse the usual antics of drag and prop comedy with a few political jokes, comparing the Generals to robbers. The next day he was imprisoned and sentenced to hard labour.

For the 7 years that Par Par Lay was in Myanmar's gulags, his brother Lu Maw kept the tradition alive and defiantly continued the act despite constant fear of imprisonment and economic ruin. Slowly, word started spreading to the tourists and the act became a magnet for backpackers, more for the symbolic act if defiance than for entertainment. The more backpackers arrived the more freedom Lu Maw had to speak his mind – the junta may be ruthless but they are also money grubbing. Perhaps they thought that arresting the remaining Moustache Brother would tarnish the slightly softer new image that they was trying to cultivate and that would mean that all tourism would cease. But no one really knows why Lu Zaw, Lu Maw and their wives were permitted to continue their show – but one thing did change. No Myanmar citizens were permitted to attend. Just lingering in front of the family home cum theatre can get a Burmese person grilled by the secret police, yet tourists are allowed to come in droves.

Par Par Lay was arrested again, in 2007 after helping to organize protests against the government, and was released again last year. If he will be arrested again remains to be seen.

The show gets started around 8pm with one liners and pop culture references that lead into a video featuring many Hollywood celebrities speaking out against the crimes in Burma. “This has Jennifer Aniston, Steven Segal, Rammmmbo, Will Ferrall – but this one my favourite!” Lu Maw says to us before pressing play on the segment featuring Tila Tequila, the buxom MTV star. “Don't tell my wife - I pay you hush money – you know hush money? I pay you 10 dollars each. 10 Zimbabwe dollars! Don't tell my wife – better half, ball and chain!”

He tells us a bit more about Par Par Lay, showing us another clip, this one from the Hugh Grant film “About a Boy” where he is referenced, and then the man himself comes out, mugging for the camera, dancing about and making light of his many imprisonments using body language and sight gags.

Lu Maw brings out his wife, a fabled beauty who was on the cover of the 1996 Burma Lonely Planet.

I normally am not fussy on dancing, but she was really entertaining - Lu Maw handed me a dance book and told me to pick a page and his wife would perform the dance and song on that page.

The whole time we were watching the show, Lu Maw's 80+ year old Mum was out front keeping an eye out for the police. "If the secret police - KGB, you know KGB? You from Canada, you know CSIS? If they come, I run out the back and they arrest all of you!" He gleefully announced. "Just kidding! I am a comedian! 10 more dollars hush money - you know hush money? But they Zimbabwe dollars! Don't tell my wife!"


Their mother is not the only family member to get involved - the act is populated with various sisters, wives, and cousins and even the littlest members of the family come to watch and learn the craft of comedy that has been in this family for 3 generations.

What is crazy, sitting and watching Par Par Lay's buffoonery, the family's dance and listening to the witty banter of Lu Maw is that these people are heroes. Not just entertainers getting away with some mildly offensive blue comedy in a tiny dimly lit club – the Moustache Brothers are pioneers flouting the law in country where it is dangerous to do so. They do it in their own home because they have been forbidden to do it anywhere else. They are saying 'Fuck you” to the brutal dictatorial regime governing their country and refusing to keep quiet even after stints in inhumane prison camps.

They do it because they can't bear a life in which they don't do it.

That evening our taxi driver asked us how the show was. He gave us a thumbs up. “They make good words. Very nice words.” The sentiment was echoed a few days later we were touring the temples of Bagan and both Sean and our friend Julia were wearing the Moustache Brothers t-shirts they had picked up after the show. A group of teens scrambled around them, pointing excitedly. “The Moustache Brothers!!! Did you hear their words? Did you hear their words!?” These kids had been taught that even though they were not permitted to see them perform, the trio in Mandalay had some important things to say. Their words were dangerous to the status quo – and that was a good thing.

Sean in his Moustache Brothers t-shirt weeks later, in Ko Phi Phi

Comedy is important – it is often the comedians who have more relevant things to say in a society than the great writers and thinkers. Even if it is not more important, it certainly reaches and resonates with more people.

If there was any doubt to Par Par Lay's hero status, this quote that he famously said upon his release from jail in 2001 should put it to an end: “You cannot close my mouth, ears and eyes. If you want to do that, it would be better not to release me.”

To be in a room and laughing with and at these men and women was an honour.

It remains to be seen how long Par Par Lay, Lu Zaw and Lu Maw will permitted to continue their act. Some hope that the scheduled elections in 2010 will signal a new day for the people of Burma, others look to the recent sham arrest of Anh San Suu Kyi on the eve of her release as proof that the Generals have no imminent plans to loosen their stranglehold on the country.

If you go to Burma make sure you see the Moustache Brothers. And yeah, buy the t-shirt.

From Left: Par Par Lay, Sean, Me, Lu Maw



08 July 2009

What to do, what to do?

Lasagna in Cambodia - better than it had any right to be....

I guess while you are on your life-changing year away you are not supposed to revel in the things that you miss from home, but let's face it: I am human. It's the one thing any of us are.

I am drinking red wine, listening to Edith Piaf and scanning perez and facebook for news from the West, but no matter how many sips I swallow or clicks I make I am firmly ensconced in Asia and watching Sean drink an Archa beer is only further proof. "Rain!" he says as a spattering noise hits the tarp above our heads. We pause and listen for a moment.
"No," I say, "Just a clumsy gecko or maybe some falling mangoes..."

What will happen to me when I get home? Will I miss the mix of banal routine and thrilling rush of travel and quickly save new money - more money - to come back and do it all over again or even - gasp - become a dreaded expat? (no offense to this link - I love her blog.) Abandon my friends and family and head to the promised land of Asia - capitol A little s i a - where I can align my chakras, escape all of my indiscretions andorder my first drink at noon with no one judging me?

Or will I never again go on an extended trip and rather wistfully look with longing at those who do and regret the decisions that put me there out of reach of the international terminal at YVR?
Dream and taste and touch the feeling of freedom from afar?

All I know now is that I want to resist the broodiness urge for as long as possible and keep putting my money in an account that for me is of tantamount importance - the travel fund.

And while I am traveling, if I need French Bleu Cheese in Suriname, some All My Children in London, some lasagna in Cambodia or a taco in Krgyzstan than I think I deserve it.

At least I don't order my first drink at noon.....

....most days.

07 July 2009

Some Blogs and Articles I am Loving.....

I am always reading something......

A Great list of tips and tricks for Mummies and Daddies with the traveling bug - I saw this one and it reminded me of this photo. A must read if you are planning on backpacking with a baby.

What Will I Ever Do With My Life?
A good question for all of us - and especially for me right now! I love this blog - I just started reading it and she is hilarious. What do I want to be when I grow up? This woman.

You know when one of your besties does something so well that you get all misty eyed and proud and want to snuggle them to your bosom and tell strangers about how great they are as if they are your giant overgrown children and not people that you have drank a lot of sangria and rye with in the past? This right here. This isn't even his site. This is another site fucking interviewing him and calling him a 'godfather.' My eyes are moist.

And for my next vacation.... Summer camp for nerdy writer adults! I'm in!

Having no kitchen and no way to cook while on the road has does nothing to diminish my love of cooking and food porn. If you love food read orangette. Ignore the fact that she is taking some time away and just read the past entries and look at the photos- I get hungry and a little aroused when I do....

I envy people that can write 15 tips really well about traveling in Asia, as my writing diarreah forces me to write 40.... These are great- if you are traveling to Asia you need to read them! This link is also good one for Asia travel tips.

A blog that makes me want to go back to India - what am I thinking?!!&@%

And lastly, my life is not all about travel and food. It is also about celebrity gossip, and the meaner the better. If you're a little sick of perez, then click on this link. You're welcome.

xoxox
Violet Dear

06 July 2009

A blogger without comments.....

....is like a stand-up comedian without laughter.

If you like/hate/disagree/agree with what you read - leave me some comments!

I have created a section for travel questions (answered by me, a former travel agent and a fancy-pancy world traveler) for you to pick my brain - feel free to head there as well.

I have created another section for wacky and wonderful traveler's stories - post yours!

And if you just love or hate anything I write - let me know.

xoxox

Violet Dear

05 July 2009

15 photos of Northern Vietnam.

My favourite photo from all of Vietnam. His silver necklace signifies that he is a member of the Black H'Mong hilltribe, the largest in the North. I love his little tongue sticking out between his teeth.

In Canada, this little guy would be a child actor. Look at that expression....

Bia Hoi - a bonus on the trip to Vietnam. Fresh beer served icy cold on the street for 20 cents a glass. Everyone wins!

Water puppetry is an ancient artform still practiced in Hanoi and the North of Vietnam. It is a little corny, a little silly and really cute. These are examples of some of the puppets used.

Mist rolling off of the terraced rice paddies in the early morning.

Sapa is in the very North of Vietnam at the Chinese border. This woman is a member of the Black H'Mong tribe, and was very persistent in her sales tactics. It was all in good fun - we sat and had a bia hoi with her later in the day.

Dzao ladies - another hilltribe in Sapa. They consider body hair abhorrent and shave their hair high on their foreheads. The different headwraps symbolize marital status.

A boy plowing the fields during our trek in the hills near Sapa. It is a hard life, but one that has some definite benefits over our own. Family and tradition are keystones of life here.

In some ways Northern Vietnam looks the way that I expect China to look. There is a magic and mystique in the air that enchanted me - it is a feeling more than an actual thing I can express.

I love the ruffled caps that the Black H'Mong put on their babies. This little pearl will probably grow up speaking 8 different languages and being able to sell embroidery in all of them.

These ladies knew damned well what a pinky swear was - but we educated them on 'sealing it with the thumb.' They made sure that he kept his promise the next day and made him buy stuff we did not want or need!


Watching a waterwheel in the small village of Cat Cat after an exhausting trek in the heat. This was a really calming, peaceful place.


I really think that traveling Vietnam with a baby is the way to go - you have dozens of willing nannies at every stop. In Sapa, the women could not keep their hands off of this fellow. We saw the family around town numerous times, and this little blondie was always in different H'Mong hands. They LOVED him. And it is obvious he loved them too.

In some places in Thailand and Laos, people dress in hilltribe costumes just for the tourists. Not so in Vietnam - people and children even far from the tourist circuit were in their traditional garb for day to day life. We saw these little boys on the way to Ta Van, where we spent the night in a home stay.

Seriously, kids are just kids. It does not matter what country they are from - they all act the same.

A lesson for all of us, I suppose.

04 July 2009

America, Uh Huh

This is a small thatch hut between Kalaw and Inle Lake, in the heart of Myanmar. Behind that calendar - yes, that is an Obama/Biden sticker.

I was in Udaipur, India during the November 2008 US elections and was traveling with 2 American girls, both with left wing politics. We were eating a nice supper on the eve of the vote when some red-nosed Scottish and British package tourists wearing Bermuda shorts and sandals with socks approached our table and eyed us suspiciously. “You Americans?” One of them asked accusatorily. I raised my hands.
“We are Canadians here.” I said, pointing to S and I.
“We are.” Sarah said politely, gesturing to Megan and herself.
“A lot of guts you've got to admit it – you better vote in Obama tomorrow.” He sneered at them in a gruff voice. “You've got a lot to explain to the resta the world for Bush – you better do the right thing tomorrow, you lot.” He tottered away and I was left aghast. If someone approached me and told me, rather demanded of me that I vote a certain way in my country's sovereign elections I would probably stand up and spit in their face. Yet Megan and Sarah sat there and just nodded.
“OK sir, we never voted for Bush – I understand. We like Obama – Go Obama.” I asked them how they could stand it. Megan answered.
“Well, a lot of people feel like they have a say in what happens because our government really meddles in a lot of things around the world that they shouldn't.” I agreed. That I understood.
“But the audacity to yell at you – that is absurd! I don't tell individual Israelis what I think, I don't get in shouting matches with Saudis and Qataris when I see a woman in a burqua – what gives someone the right to act as if you are personally to blame?” We all shrugged and went back to our meal. This was not the last time I would witness these 2 girls have to defend their home, usually from people with a taste for American music and clothing. It started me thinking.

*********************

America. The very word is enough to evoke pride, anger, fear and condescension. No nation has ever been more contentious, more powerful or more controversial than the red, white and blue. A republic of 50 states cobbled together as a social experiment, a nation of empire that vehemently denies empire building, a meddling country incapable of minding its own business that uses mind games and rhetoric on its own people. And I, the least likely supporter of the stars and stripes, am here to defend it.

Not for the reasons that you would think, either.

I am a Canadian. This means that I benefit from the good things of being North American while being able to vote in multi-party elections, visit my doctor for free for any reason (and even a therapist if I have hypochondria) and have memorized the lyrics to “God Save the Queen.” It is a good place to be, Canada, and if you can steel yourself for the freezing Winters and blistering Summers you will be rewarded with a laid back attitude, friendly neighbours and unparalleled natural beauty. But it is not....exciting.

Our movie industry, for instance, realized decades ago that it could not compete with the whizzbang excitement of Hollywood and instead began focusing on creating a quirky, arty cinema that can easily be recognized (and avoided) by all Canadians for its low budget aesthetic and ability to do really well at European Film Fests. Canadian children learn early on that if you see an NFB logo (National Film Board of Canada) you should immediately change the channel lest you be subjected to “The Log Driver's Waltz” for the tenth time. Even our authors, prolific writers like Margaret Atwood, Alice Munro, Mordecai Richler and Timothy Findley write with a sort if dull melancholy and sparse simplicity that distinguishes them around the world for being different – when in reality they are just being Canadian.

Our government protects our unique culture with 'Canadian Content laws' that require that a third of all broadcast media be Canadian – and it has to be protected from of our shiny, exciting, charismatic neighbour. He doesn't always wipe his shoes, he isn't always polite and sometimes he makes us so angry! But he is the life of the party, he's genuinely friendly and his intentions are generally good – its no wonder our citizens would rather hang out with him than their plain humble countrymen.

When it comes to all of our media needs we overwhelmingly prefer it to be American – just like the people of almost every country on this planet do.

Why do people around the world claim to hate America so much, claim to hate what it stands for and the way that they conduct themselves and get uppity and angry at the very mention of their politics - but gobble up their media like it is candy? Why can you buy American fashions in the European capitals? Why are US movies, books, TV shows and magazines the standard around the world? And music – jazz, rock n' roll, blues, country n western, rap, bluegrass, honky tonk, hip hop, heavy metal (sorry Led Zep, I know the term was coined for you, but Iggy and the Stooges beat you to the sound) were all born in the USA– who are we all trying to kid? We LOVE America. We idolize, mythologize and sexualize America.

Their Enemy Number One, Osama Bin Laden - loves Whitney Houston.
Saddam had photos of Brit Brit in his bunker.

Yet every day I meet Aussies, Europeans, Brits and yes – other Canadians who sneer and roll their eyes when the USA is mentioned (except when talking about Obama – the world's biggest crush) and then hop on their iPods and play some JayZ or watch 30 Rock. And instead of pointing this out, American travelers, when asked where they are from, quietly respond and try to downplay their nationality instead of shouting it from rooftops.

*****************

America's hypocrisy – the foisting of democracy on unwilling countries when they themselves have a voter turn out of 50%; the corrupt politics; the racism, sexism and classism inherent in its policies; the war mongering and money grubbing – is abhorrent. But then again, isn't Britain's? Wouldn't Russia be doing the same or worse if they had won the Cold War? What if Germany and Japan had won World War II – you don't think that there would be a few problems? The most powerful nation is always corrupted by its limitless power (Rome, anyone?) and while that is not a justification for their behaviour – for the graves of Iraqi civilians, the children dying of hunger in Afghanistan and the discrediting of legally elected governments whenever it is convenient– it does make me glad that it is in America's somewhat benign hands and not, let's say, Iran's.

Americans are generally friendly people with good hearts yet they are stereotyped in the world as ignorant and mean. Their country has some of the best universities and brilliant scientists, yet they still are generalized in the world as rednecks. They come from a place where it truly is possible to climb your way out from the gutter and emerge rich and famous a'la Horatio Alger, and while many people in the West deny it the numbers do not lie: ask almost any person in Asia, Africa and South America and they would say that America is where they dream of emigrating. They also happen to make media and both high (Jackson Pollock) and low (The Hills) culture that we all want to be a part of.

All of us – every person who looks down their nose at Pawdunk, Iowa and thanks their lucky stars that they are from Stockholm, Toronto or London instead – wants to be in New York for the art, the theatre, the nightclubs. We all want to dip our fingers into the gold glitter of LA and drape ourselves in New Orleans' beads. We want to ride trolleycars in San Francisco and pull on a one armed bandit in Vegas. We want to immerse ourselves in the mythical Wild West, to play Davey Crockett and Johnny Appleseed and Paul Bunyan. We want Disneyland. But if you mention America as a whole – we cringe.

People around the world who sneer and claim superiority should look no further than the Pizza Huts, Starbucks, McDonalds and Walmarts in their cities – they are there for a reason. People have voted with their dollars and they want American goods. They want coronary inducing American food. They want to watch a Hollywood Blockbuster while munching fake-buttered popcorn, popping Milkduds and swilling a Coke. They want to laugh guiltily at Family Guy and read an Archie Double Digest. This is not some crazy US plot – if the people didn't want it than it wouldn't sell. Supply and demand. And they demand America.

And what about our hypocrisy? We're not better than them -we want to be them. We want to enjoy all of their good things and then to harshly criticize them every chance we get. No wonder they get defensive! Imagine how you would feel if an Aussie was eating poutine, drinking a Molson and watching Trailer Park Boys while wearing hockey jersey - at the same time telling you that Canada is backward, boring and should be destroyed. You would want to punch them. At the very least you would laugh at their hypocrisy. But this is exactly what we do to Americans. Take a look at your closet, your laptop contents, your DVDs and concert stubs and you'll see I'm right - if I'm wrong feel free to go back to your smug feelings of superiority – you earned them.

We should never allow our admiration of their culture blind us to the truly awful things that the US government does in the name of its people, nor do I think that the rising tide of the religious right and their determination to strip away human rights is anything to look up to. But I think that we need to stop pretending that America as a whole is low-class and simple minded unless we also accept that as the people that gobble up so much of their media - we are too.

I'm surprised they don't make bigger flags.

We don't have some invisible halo of superiority just because our passport isn't from the USA - my Canadianess does not make me a better person. The same logic states that a person should not be singled out on the street or in a restaurant and told that their country is bad or that they personally have some explaining to do.

The next time you have an urge to say “I'm sorry” when someone tells you they're from the US you should really say “Thank you for all the stuff” and think about what your country has done that is so much better.

03 July 2009

Thai Food - 2 meals

Red Curry Lunch

It is creamy, sweet and spicy and that kind of savoury that hits the sides of your tongue and causes it to roll a bit. Pale yellow coconut milky soup with tiny red chili flecks and strips of kaffir lime dotting the surface, tumeric and tomato swirling together and flavouring the whole bowl. Each round spoonful contains different combinations of plump shrimp, bright orange carrots, crunchy baby corn and juicy onion, all blanketed by thick leaves of a kale-like spinach and green cabbage. My nose runs and temperature rises from the chilies and the heat of the broth. Afterwards my lips burn and are bright red.

Fresh Fish Supper

Earlier today we watched as the resident Italian beach bum dove into the reef and speared 4 fish effortlessly. I found Pon, the owner of our bungalows, and told her that we wanted a whole fish for our supper – one of these impossibly fresh ones caught a few metres away. It arrived deep fried golden brown with crispy skin, smothered in crunchy pungent garlic, ground white pepper and sea salt. After flaying the skin we squashed sour lemon halves onto the flakey white flesh, scooped long strips of fish off of the bones and shoveled them into our salivating mouths. We left the fish picked clean.

01 July 2009

A Day of Dissent in Mandalay - Part 1: Down on the Docks

If you don't know, and you might not – Myanmar (Burma) is the largest country in Southeast Asia. It is bordered by Thailand, Laos, China, India and Bangladesh, and is ruled by a brutal military junta with no peep of protest from the UN Security Council. There is no free speech (except for one comedy troupe who I will get to in Part 2), no free elections and no justice. Yet more and more backpackers are headed there each year, despite some activist's calls for a ban on tourism. Sean and I headed to Burma (we insist on calling it the name preferred by it's people) with open minds and one mission: that the government would get as little of our money as possible.This is actually a bit harder than it seems. Right off the bat we had to hand nearly 30 dollars each to Than Shwe's corrupt empire in visa fees – and we were still in Bangkok.

Myanmar was once a Communist country (one that has slowly fallen into the ruinous fascist state that it is in today) and as such the government seems to control everything – until the mid nineties you could not come here without paying hefty fees, but things have changed. Slightly. Private Sector tourism is now begrudgingly allowed, and instead of staying at government run hotels, taking government run trains and flights and participating in mandatory government run tours, you can contribute to small businesses and meet local people. But still, entry fees to some “Must See” sights in Myanmar directly end up in the General's pockets - but we knew that if we were careful we could get around at least some of them. So, no internet (taxed heavily) no Myanmar beer (joint enterprise with the state) no trains and no guest houses named after the town that they are in.A few things could not reasonably be relented on without destroying the purpose of the trip – the stunning Shwedagon Paya in Yangon (Rangoon) is 5 bucks, the ancient cities of Mandalay and the ruins of Bagan are each 10, and Inle Lake is 3 dollars. Without these “Big 4” Burma would still be interesting, but missing it's key points of interest. So we lucked out when we met Toom Toom.

On the morning that we arrived to Mandalay, tired and confused after a 14 hour night bus from Yangon, Toom Toom met us at the station holding a sign with the name of the hotel at which we wanted to stay. On the long ride we had become friendly with a German couple – Holga and Julia, as well as a fellow Canadian named Justin, and we all wanted to head to the Royal Guesthouse. Toom Toom took us there, and proposed a day long itinerary that would include the sights of Mandalay proper as well as the 2 nearby ancient villages of Sagiang and Amarapura – with an added bonus. He knew all of the tricks and alternate sights to visit that would get us around paying the 10 dollars to the government. We agreed to his somewhat hefty fee and spent the day dodging ticket checkers, climbing to majestic technicolour hilltop temples and eating in a small village with locals. It was a beautiful and hectic experience.



The next morning, feeling high from the previous day's trickery, we set out to hire a boat to take us to Mingun, an ancient village famed for its gigantic unfinished stupa an hour's trip away. Usually the only way to get there was to take the government ferry at 3 dollars a head but we were resolute in our decision to deprive the Generals of our kyat. We picked up a new traveller, an American named Dan, and we headed down to the jetty.

As we marched our way along the slum covered banks of the river we passed many boats big and small, yet no one seemed eager to help us. We found one man, a portly fellow in a lungyi and no shirt, and he grunted to us that we could hire one of his 4 huge boats. We checked it out and it seemed good, and so we started to board when from the MTT (Myanmar Tourism Office) emerged a man wearing a dress shirt tucked into a checked lungyi, his mouth full of watery red betel juice as he spoke to us. Despite his silly fisherman's hat I recognized a weasel-y quality about him that made me instantly balk when he suggested that we head into his office to finalize the booking.“Yessss, Yessss, head this way. In my office pleasssssse. Need to see one passssssport and Myanmar vissssssa, pleasssse. You pay money to me, and then you take hisssss boat.” We all paused. One of the problems of traveling in a group of near strangers is that certain decisions can take a long time to reach, as no one wants to step on each other's toes. We discussed quickly, and decided that we wanted to get away from this strange government official in the Gilligan hat.

We headed down river, looking plaintively for a small boat to ferry us – a job that we were surprised no one was jumping at as it would bring twice the average daily wage to the captain.We finally found a man who seemed excited at the prospect. His eyes lit up and he grabbed his youngest son and popped him on his shoulder and then he began to lead us....back down the beach to the MTT office. “No! No!” We shouted. “We want to deal with you. Pay money to you. Not to office. OK?” The boat owner either did not understand us or had no choice as he led us back up to the sneering government official. A heated argument in Burmese ensued, and the man and his baby were turned away. He raised his eyes dejectedly to us and plodded back to the beach.

The MTT official pointed to the smooth fat ball of a man in the lungyi, the man who owned 4 boats whom we had first spoken to.We headed up the stairs to the office to see what that actual situation was. “You go with him. You pay me the money.” When we had qualms about the price, he laughed at us and shrugged. “This isssss price. Boat or no boat? Fixed price.” His eyes danced, very well aware that if we wanted to go to Mingun we had no choice than to deal with him. All of the sudden I decided that this was where it ended. Sure, maybe this was a collective (many cities have taxi or rickshaw unions) and everything was on the up and up, but to me it seemed like the government helping the rich while collecting a fat commission and pushing out the little guys. That was why no one seemed excited to help us – they were powerless, having been told to stay away from tourists. We headed back down the stairs to discuss.

Just as I was about to voice a loud 'NO' a skinny rail of a man with a slim moustache practically grazed us and whispered. “This boat very expensive. Man takes 10,000 kyat (10 bucks) as commission. Bad man. I find you boat, family boat, only 20,000 kyat. Meet me in the teashop in 5 minutes.” We looked on in amazement – here was our way around the dreaded government.

Sitting at the teashop, our covert friend arrived. He seemed galled that the government office dare charge us such a huge commission – he even seemed galled that the teashop was charging us 10 cents more for a cup of tea. “You see, down there is some trees? Jetty called “Nyaung U.” You go to the trees and meet me there – I arrange family boat to take you to Mingun. Maybe walk around the block first so that this man does not see you. OK? I see you there.” We all thanked him happily, paid for our slightly inflated tea and headed down the road.

Twenty minutes later, we were still walking down that road, a vague cloud of suspicion that we were going the wrong way starting to form over our heads. Though a few boats here and there were still anchored at the shore, there did not seem to be an active jetty for quite a ways away. We passed dusty shacks, open air beer gardens and piles of garbage and debris – our laughing and joking petering out as we walked further and further in the stifling muggy heat.“Nyaung U?” We asked every person we met. “Boat to Mingun?” Each person smiled and pointed back in the direction of the MTT office, exactly where we didn't want to be heading. Sighing, we would keep trudging, saying hello to all of the children running out to see us and looking for the elusive jetty that the slim man had directed us to.



After one hour we reached the Bagan Jetty, the industrial dock where the big ferries left for the long slow trip to the ancient plateau of ruins around Bagan. We all sat down on the curb, knowing definitively that something had gone terribly wrong. We started the long slow shuffle back to the teashop.

As our blistered, sore feet approached the main hub near the MTT office the slim moustachioed man came running out into the road. “Whaaaaa? Where you have been?!” Dejectedly we pointed down the long road. Holger filled him in. “We walked to the Bagan Jetty – we could not find this Nyaung U dock?” Our friend clapped himself on the forehead. “It is right there.” He said, and pointed with one long finger to a clutch of trees, not 200 metres away, not even 100 metres away – less than 50 metres from where we were standing. “This is Nyaung U Jetty!” We exchanged dumbfounded looks – and all began to laugh. “You still want boat to go Mingun?” He asked us. “Yes!” I said. “But can we still go?” It was nearing 3pm, and I knew that the small family run ferries would be leaving Mingun on the last run of the day at 5pm, which would not give us very much time to see the sights. “Yes, no problem. You walk around this block, meet me right here in 5 minutes. Only this block!” He replied with a twinkle in his eye. When we returned half an hour later after getting lost once more in the maze of small streets and markets he was still laughing, but now more worried.“Better you get private boat. Then you have for all evening.” We all agreed, and followed our tattooed friend...back toward the MTT office.

S looked at me. “What do you want to do?” He asked, knowing that I wanted to avoid the government boats at all costs. After a few minutes of thought I answered tersely. “Well, now if we don't go we make the price so much higher for everyone else, and if the government is going to get the money anyway than we might as well....” But we had worried too soon - it was now almost 4pm, all of the MTT staff had gone home for the day and we were free to take our pick of the local boats without paying a cent to the official office.



Finally we got on our way to Mingun. It was a beautiful place, well worth the agonizing process it took to get there. Our guide was now happy that he could show us around and personally prevent us from wandering away and getting lost, and he led us to a good local restaurant where we ate a very late lunch. We viewed a unique white pagoda that looked as if Gaudi had had a hand in its design, climbed a monolithic unfinished stupa and watched young monks playing joyfully on a motorbike below and visited a home for family-less Burmese seniors. We were all just giddy that we had finally gotten away with screwing the already corrupt system.



Using the back paths and routes that our guide led us on we managed to avoid the 3 dollar Mingun fee that we were supposed to have paid at the dock in Mandalay, the ticket checkers having all gone home as well. We congratulated ourselves, but as we headed back to the boat we were ambushed by a man on a bicycle. He began yelling at our slim friend, and a heated argument broke out. Our friend had divulged to us that he used to be a Muay Thai fighter, and it was apparent as he balled his fists and advanced at the other man. Their arguing continued and after a few tense moments he came over to us, head down. “I am very shame, I am so sorry but now you must pay to this man 3 dollars a person.” We quickly rushed to comfort him. “It's no problem - you tried!” I said to him as we made our way to the booth to pay the fee. He brightened.“Yes, and this ticket good for 5 days – you give to other tourists and government gets no more money! Ha!” We all agreed to pass them on.



On the boatride back to Mandalay I turned to look at S. “Well, I think we did pretty good! We managed to see all of the sights in Mandalay and we only paid 3 bucks each to the regime.” He agreed. “And we almost got away with it completely!”

In other countries, in other situations I would be appalled to see a Westerner trying to avoid paltry fees to see amazing things, but in Burma it felt like the right thing to do. Though tourism dollars are a small way that the corrupt Myanmar Generals make their fortunes - it is a portion nonetheless. I believe that you vote with your dollars even in situations where you are only spending a few at a time, and this is one place where the guesthouse employees, the impromptu guides and the small business owners need them more than than Than Shwe does. He clearly doesn't use the money on infrastructure and social programming. It's not even used on roads, schools, hospitals – not even on maintaining the sites themselves. He instead uses his vast ill-gotten fortune to pay for his daughter's wedding at which the gifts alone were valued at 50 million US.It had been a long, tiring day and now that we were filled with subversive glee it was time to go and pay a visit to The Moustache Brothers.

To Be Continued in Part 2.....
 
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